Balancing Act

As I sit back and ponder what is going on in my life right now, it seems like there is a whirlwind of activity. We are now officially half way through summer, and I wonder where the time has gone. I can remember as a kid thinking that the summer crawled by and lasted forever, but as I get older, time flies!!

This summer I have spent coordinating numerous doctor’s appointments, coordinating family summer plans, completing grad school work, and responding to emails for work...the list never ends!!! I don’t know about the rest of you, but what I miss most about my childhood is having very little to be concerned about and just being care-free. I miss my easy going summers at the lake where my biggest concern was, what time we were all heading to the beach, and who we were going tubing or skiing with. Obviously like most of us my life is far from being relaxing, care-free. Being a wife, mother, graduate student and a nurse gives me lots of things to be consumed and concerned with– now.

Gretta first had an echocardiogram schedule; we are thankful to report that her valve structure and the dilation of her aorta is within normal limits and are working fine. But they did find that she has patent ductus arteriosis. What does that mean...more appointments :) Patent Ductus Arteriosis is when the ductus arteriosis does not close at birth. The ductus arteriosus is a blood vessel that allows blood to go around the baby's lungs before birth. Soon after the infant is born and the lungs fill with air, the ductus arteriosus is no longer needed. It usually closes in a couple of days after birth. In full-term infants, a PDA rarely closes on its own after the first few weeks.
PDA leads to abnormal blood flow between the aorta and pulmonary artery, two major blood vessels that carry blood from the heart. The opening allows oxygen-rich blood from the aorta to mix with oxygen-poor blood from the pulmonary artery. This can strain the heart and increase blood pressure in the lung arteries. We need to follow with cardiologist again next summer. At this time, the opening is small and no repairs/surgery is needed at this time. Let's just pray that the hole stays small and does stretch! :)

We are also thankful that Gretta's appointment with the pediatric ophthalmologist reported that her tissues are completely normal.

We spent a week back home in New England with my family and it was a fantastic week. We spent a few days at the lake in Meredith NH on Lake Waukewan. My parents were gracious to take G for a few days so my twin sister, my brother in law, matt and I could enjoy a night away to a bed and breakfast. We did the coast drive and just had a nice time with the 4 of us-No kids! We spent the fourth of July at my sisters after a day at the ocean with my aunt, uncle, and grandparents. It’s always fun to go home and good byes are always hard. They get harder the longer I am gone. I miss what my sister and I have. I wish Gretta lived near her cousins so she could have regular play dates with them. Gretta and Emma are two peas in a pod, they get along so well and Hannah does so well at keeping up with the big girls. There was not one fight or disagreement they are like "kindred spirits".

After we got back from vacation it was pretty much back to the grind of grad school. I took 2 courses this summer and it is has been tough work. I personally believe that my career as a school nurse and my role as a mother and a wife complement one another. Being a mom helps me keep a level head when I’m under pressure at work. I also think that having to be organized and structured at work has helped me to keep things organized and structured at home. But I can say unequivocally that in my experience grad school has put the stress in our lives at a whole new level. Grad school was a decision we made to help advance my career but also advance opportunities for our family and ultimately carry out the God's will for my life, but has resulted us in delaying our family plans. My family has had to compete with professors and the new curriculum layout for my practicum courses is making me very nervous! I need to complete 200 practicum hours, along with regular course work, work full time, and of course find time for Matt and Gretta from now until December.

Struggling with the balance of all of this, I need to believe that things will get better for me and not lose hope. I also need to remember that I need to finish obtaining my MSN even if I never go to the job market for another professional position again. So I am committing that I will finish! I’m finishing my MSN because I want to be an example for my daughter; I want her to look at me and realize that it was tough but I made it to the other side...to better opportunities for me and my family. I want Gretta to realize she shouldn’t give up just because life gets tough (but I will recommend her do it before having a family! :)I want her to know that “If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.”-CT STUDD